Sunday.  I love Sundays.  I sat and caught up on the Chicago TV shows today. Fire, PD, Med.  Med is not my favorite but each time I watch it I’m hooked.  Occasionally, they touch on mental health.  Lately, it is more often. 

One of the Dr’s is having a mental break.  I’m fasinated.  I’m​ grateful.  Why?  Because, they are focusing on a subject most would like to leave in the dark.

I had drinks with friends the other night.  We were discussing everything that came to mind.  I became the subject of the minute for about 10 minutes.  We discussed my work habits, my crazy personality and my family.  All of which can make me laugh or cause me to spit fire. 

I am a hard worker.  I will come in early, work through lunch and do anything asked of me.  Somedays….I can’t do those things, hell I can’t get out of bed much less be an over achiever.  The swing between the two drives my boss crazy.  (I know for a fact, we have discussed it at length.)

I have a crazy loud personality. I laugh loud, I talk loud, i sneeze loud, I train others loud and I argue loud.  Somedays…you wouldn’t know I was in the room.  I hide in my work, put in my headphones and can not carry on a conversation.  The swing between the two gives other and myself whiplash.

I have a family, I love beyond words.  My oldest fights depression and anxiety.  I worry every day.  My husband fights depression, discovered in the last year. We have been married 15 years.  It is an adjustment. I worry about him daily.  Sometimes…I can hide my concern for them, somedays it controls me.  The swing between the calm and the worry is gut wrenching.  

I can be fine at 10 am. I get one bad text from my kid at 10:05 and I’m a nervous wreck about her for the rest of the day.

It is exhausting to be inside my head and  I know I am not alone. 

So on a Sunday, when I sit to watch a TV show millions watch every week.  I’m thankful they put some focus on a real world problem.

Proof that I (we) truly are not alone.


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