I’m mostly an open book about my life. I want people to understand what mental health is. I’m open about my health and half of the time, when I’m visiting with some one, I say what I’m thinking. I don’t often say exactly what I’m thinking unless, I’m talking to my husband. Because I worry I will to be judged more than I might be already.
I act different, (I think). I talk loud, I laugh loud. I’m a little disorganized but I have a 1000 lists for a 1000 different things and I rewrite them a lot. I’m way to kind hearted so I wear my emotions on my sleeve, I can cry in seconds, especially when I’m mad and I get mad quick. My mind constantly wonders. I am either busy as hell or idle for hours, I’m a complicated personality, I get sad for no reason and I can’t always see the forest thru the trees and that is the un-sick side of me.
I’m open about my mental health and how it affects me. I hid it in the past. Hiding it made me very sick. I’m honest so I don’t get sick.
But how much is to much? When I ask that I mean am I too much?
The flip side of that thought.
I get, teased. It’s done in fun and to lighten the mood sometimes but I get tired of hearing
“She’s a little crazy.”
” That one is a little off.”
I take it in stride because I learned years ago that it is better to laugh at yourself than be too serious.
But when is it all too much?
When is me talking about it too much?
When are the jokes too much?
Where is my line in the sand and is it there everyday? Sometimes, I really don’t mind being the office “entertainment”. Sometimes it pisses me off.